A little of this, a little of that...

Dear Eli,

I've waited a couple of weeks to write you because it's been a little stressful for me. To begin, school is kicking my boo-tay. Not that it's your problem, you just know I feel guilty every time I have to leave you, and, well... this year is just hard. Then, I got wind of a young father I went to high school with who lost his son. He was a year old. The night that I heard that, I sat in your room and watched you sleep. I prayed to God that he would give that young family peace and comfort, and then I asked that he never take you from me. To be honest, I needed a couple of weeks to process that all. I can't think about their situation without crying because of course, I think of you. So I just needed some time.

So what do you want to talk about today? I was thinking about telling you how we chose your name. Would you like to hear that? Ok, so here goes...

Remember that I told you at first I thought you were a girl. We only had girl names picked out and we had narrowed it down to a couple front runners. I wouldn't even consider boy names because I just KNEW you were a chick.  As we can now see, I was wrong.

That October afternoon when we went to see if you really were a girl, your daddy and I sat nervously at a the special sonography place. Beyond just wanting to see what you were, we wanted to make sure you were ok, and we knew that if something was wrong, we'd be able to see it... on a GIANT, 3D movie screen.

So there we were, nervous, pukey (at least I was), and excited. They finally called our name and back we went. As the lady is moving the wand over my belly, she stops. Your daddy was holding on to my arm... and then she said the magic words: "I see a penis!"

Your daddy squeezed my arm and I cried because not only were you healthy, but you were gonna be a BOY! Just to be fair, I would have cried if you had been a girl, too. I was very weepy when I was pregnant. Actually, I'm pretty weepy all the time... you'll realize this as you get older.

As we left, we called our families and told them the good news... then we looked at each other and said, "Well, I guess we can throw all the girl names out the window!"

We started looking at biblical names. We knew we wanted you to be a man of God, and what better way to start you off than by naming you after one of His servants? We knew that names like Matthew and John were out--too common. I liked Luke, but one of our friends had recently named her baby that same name, and we didn't want to seem like we were copy cats. We tossed around Noah. Noah Boehman. Sounds good, right? But again... too many Noahs.

Then I said Eli. Eli. Eli. Eli. We liked. We loved it! So I started doing some research on Eli in the bible... turns out he was kind of a bad father. A bit spineless, in fact. I was devestated.

I ended up telling this story to a woman your daddy and I work with, and she ended up talking me back into naming you Eli. She explained that while Eli from the bible had his flaws, he was a man of God. And besides that, some of the greatest men in the bible weren't exactly wonderful men, but God used them to relay his message. David, for example, was kind of a...errr... well... he just wasn't that great. But we are all sinners and fall short of the glory of God, and Eli from the bible was no different.

After that, Eli was your name. We called you that from that moment on... and prayed to God that you looked like an Eli, because if you didn't, we didn't have a backup. Thankfully, though, when you were born, you looked like you could support that name, and thus, it was.

So Eli, I'm charging you to live up to the name you were given. While I expect you to stumble at some points in your life, never forget that you were named after one of God's men, and He will always guide you. I love you to the moon and back, Eli James.

Love,

Mommy

And I've been meaning to post this for a few days...

Here's you and Roxie... you love her :) This is you petting her and squealing with delight!

One last thing

Just because I think these pictures of us are sweet:

This is you and me this past Sunday after we got home from church (your daddy was sick). We had family snuggle time in our bed. You, your daddy, the dog, the cat, and me... all together, hanging out. You (obviously) were hungry! Plus, you thought my nose was super interesting. You kept grabbing it, and several times I had to remove your finger or thumb from my nostril. Silly boy!

I tried, I failed, I'll try again

Dear Eli,

I wrote a letter yesterday, but then the website went down and all was lost. Technology. Can't live with it, can't live without it. So now I will try (to best of my ability) to rewrite what was lost AND add to it as well. Here we go...

Monday was your 4 month birthday. YAY! You're already a 1/3 of a year old... you're growing up too fast, son. Slow down! To celebrate, I took you to the doctor for your shots. You didn't like that very much, and neither did I for that matter, but only one of us cried. Would you like to guess which one of us it was? It was you. Look at me, being so strong! Afterwards, I brought you home and you cuddled daddy for almost the rest of the night. I had to ask to hold you... I think he liked the fact that you were all snuggled up with him in the recliner, asleep on his chest :)

While we were at the doctor, though, I was also told that you have baby acid reflux
:( You haven't been gaining weight like you should because you spit up every time we give you a bottle. She gave us a perscription and some new formula, and as of this morning, you were doing a lot better. WAY less barf than before. I called the doctor and asked if we could keep you off the meds for now, and she said we could, so I guess we'll see how this goes. (By the way, she said if you kept spitting up, she'd recommend giving you a little cereal because that tends to stay down better than liquid... HA! I already DO THAT!)

Yesterday I decided that it was high time you have some baby food. Take that, Doctor! Your daddy and I went to the store and on your Aunt Jessica's advice, I bought the supplies necessary to make you your own baby food. That's right. Your mommy is an infant chef. I got you frozen peas and carrots, cooked them per the directions, and blended them up until they were mush. Now Eli, you should know that I HATE green peas, and cooked carrots make me ill, but I stunk up my entire kitchen just for you. THAT is how much I love you!

So it came time to eat. I wasn't sure how you'd take it because honestly, all mushed up it looked like something that might come out of your diaper. But... you loved it! Here is a picture of you eating your first real food meal:

Notice that we took you out of your clothes. I didn't want to try to get those stains out. After you were finished, there were peas and carrots literally everywhere. Somehow it was even on the back of your shoulder blade. You daddy was covered, you were covered... it was gross. I took you right upstairs and gave you a bath, paying special attention to your neck and underneath your chin, because that area was just gross.

So that's all for now. I'm at work and the bell just rang, so I'm off to teach. I miss you, baby boy, and I love you to the moon and back, Eli James.

Love,

Mommy

I Take it Back!

Dear Eli,


You DID do something awesome today! You rolled over FOR REAL!

Now, you've been rolling over for awhile, but you've always stopped because your arm would get caught under your body. But tonight... TONIGHT! You rolled from your back to your belly AND were able to get your arm out!

You're so advanced.

Being that good, however, must have worn you out because this is you at this exact moment:

I love you to the moon and back, Eli James...Sweet dreams, sleepy boy.

Love,
Mommy

Eli=Num Num Disposal

Dear Eli,

Tomorrow is the first day of school, which is probably a good thing because Daddy and I need to make some money so we can afford to feed you! You must be hitting a growth spurt because the babysitter told me you ate like a linebacker today. Then, when we got you home, you ate again, and I'm pretty sure there isn't any food left in the house.

By the way, we think you're teething. You keeping chewing on your hands, and last night I thought I felt the ridge of a tooth trying to cut through the gum. Here is a picture of you from yesterday, hanging out with daddy and me:

Other than that, I'm trying to think of anything exciting that I have to report... Uhhhhhh... you pooped all over your clothes at the babysitter's house. Is that exciting? No? Ok. I'll try harder tomorrow.

I love you to moon and back, Eli James!

Love,
Mommy

PS

Tonight you were so happy! You were giggling and squealing... so cute! Daddy took a video. Check your cute self out!

Today

Dear Eli,

Today I went back to work. Like... for real went back to work.  Last night, as the sun went down on the last few moments of our first summer together, I took this picture:

You laughed as we waited for daddy to finish running. You rolled over again and again and again, but as I soon as I got the video camera out, you stopped. Little stinker! I wanted to soak up as much as I could of you because I knew that today, I would leave you.


Sure, I've taken you to the babysitter before, but it was never "for real." I went back for a few days at the end of the school year, but then I knew there was summer to look forward to. I dropped you off occasionally for this reason or that, but I knew I wouldn't be gone long.

Today was different.

Today I knew our "all-day-every-day" time together was over.

Today I fought back tears that surely were to come.

Today I was sad.

Your daddy and I talked last night. We were musing about this school year to come, and how, in the past, we had always wished the school year to go quickly because we wanted to get back to the summertime. However, we both agreed that this year was different. How could we wish this school year away when we know that next summer you'll be so different? You'll be a little boy... no longer a baby. What will you be like, Eli? You'll probably be walking; maybe even running. Maybe you'll have started talking by next summer. What words will you know? Will you say Mama? PLEASE SAY MAMA! The bottom line is that while I want so badly to get back to our "all-day-every-day" time together, I know that only comes with you getting older.

And I don't want you to grow up.

Ok... of course I want you to grow up... I certainly don't want the alternative... but it's hard. You've already outgrown your "little bitty babyness" and while I love to see how you've changed, it makes me sad to know that there are aspects of your tiny self that you've left behind. 

You know what I realized I miss? Feeding you in the middle of the night. Don't get me wrong, I love to sleep. I love that you're allowing me to sleep... but there was something special about spending those few quiet moments with you. The rest of the world was asleep, and it was just you and me.

One day when you're older, you'll catch me staring at you. You'll describe my look as "weird," but really, it's just wistful.  Just know that there has never been a day that you have not been loved, and while I can't wait to see what you become, I already dread the day that you will leave.

I love you to the moon and back, Eli James.

Love,

Mommy