Dear Eli,
You'll have to forgive me. We've all been crazy busy the last few months, but that's no excuse. I should have written you before now... please forgive me...
Ok, moving on. Where to begin? I guess I will remind you that I have gone to back to school for my Specialist's Degree, and this past school year has been tough, but that hasn't changed anything for you and me. Currently, I'm reading a whole slew of articles for a literature review (sounds great, huh?) and you and your daddy have gone off to the trail to take a run. I needed a brain break, and what better thing to do with my time than to write to my favorite boy! So here we are...
Let's start by talking about your birthday. You're ONE! Such a big boy! We had your party on Saturday this year because your actual birthday fell on Easter Sunday. Your Grandma and Grandpa came down from Indiana, of course all of your Georgia family was here, and even a few friends showed up to celebrate. You were so cute! You had on a blue and white plaid shirt and little shorts. You ran around like a crazy man... ok... walked around like a crazy man... and you had so much fun. We had BBQ catered in, mommy made you cupcakes (which were a disaster, and I don't think I'll ever do that again... but hey, they ended up tasting pretty good), and we had an egg hunt. You got lots of great gifts including toys and clothes, and you were such a happy little guy! It was wonderful :)
Towards the end of April, your babysitter up and quit. She got into an argument with your uncle and said some pretty horrible things. She sent me a text message at 8:00 on a Thursday night saying she wouldn't be able to keep you any more, and that was that. She wouldn't return my phone calls or texts and she had her daughter drop your stuff off on the front porch. I think it was probably better that way, though, because she might have been a little crazy. According to your uncle, she said that people used to question her about putting kids in her car and driving them around, but when she just figured that if she got into a wreck, "well... oh well!" Of course that's NOT ok, and after hearing that I was more than willing to find you some place else to go.
I ended up calling a woman that people at my work know, and wouldn't you know it, she had an opening! I took that as a sign from God that you weren't supposed to be with the other lady any more, and you spent the last month with Ms. T. She's awesome! On the last day of school, she sent you and the other kids home with a summertime gift. How cool is that?! And she loves you, which is great :) You're still deciding whether you love her or not, and you usually cry when we drop you off, but Ms. T says you're back to normal in just a minute or two after we leave, so that makes me feel better.
In mid May, you had surgery to have tubes put in your ears. The doctor was pretty impressed that you could walk (yeah! I didn't mention your first steps! Daddy caught them on his camera. I'll post them :) and said he thought you'd be running after the tubes went in. He was right! That morning, I was a nervous wreck. I kept crying because I couldn't stand the thought of anything happening to you. I held you and loved on you, and when it was time, I went back with you as they put you to sleep. It was terrible. Nurses held you down while you looked at me and screamed. They put the mask on you and told me to talk to you to keep you calm. When you were out, I kissed your cheek and left. It was terrible. But the surgery didn't last long at all... I think it was seven minutes from the time I left the OR to the doctor coming out. You came out a few minutes later and I've never been so happy to see my baby boy.
The tubes have been a blessing, that's for sure, but last weekend, when we went to Indiana, one of them got clogged. Of course we didn't know that's what the problem was, we just knew we had a VERY sick baby on our hands. I took your temperature and it was almost 105 degrees. I FLIPPED. We rushed you to the hospital and the doctors told us that you had an inflamed eardrum due to the blockage, and that you would be fine. I've never spend $150 better. Just to know that you were going to be ok was the best news I could have heard.
So now it's summertime! You spend your whole day with us and I'm pretty sure you love it. I have a feeling that when we take you back to Ms. T in August, you might freak out, but you'll get used to it. In the mean time, though, we are having a blast. You talk talk talk talk talk talk talk. Of course, you aren't saying much, but you think you are! Last weekend, you were chattering at your Grandpa, and he asked, "Eli, are you going to be a talker?" and you said "No!" That's your favorite word, by the way. No. Eli, do you want a cracker? No! Eli, do you want a kiss? No! Eli, do you love mommy? No! But you always take the cracker, come running over for a kiss, and snuggle mommy, so I'm pretty sure you don't really know what no means.
Ok, son, I guess I have to go back to work now. We are leaving for vacation soon and I have to get all this work done before we go. I love you to the moon and back!
Love,
Mommy
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Leap Year
Dear Eli,
Today is February 29th, 2012. Leap Day. It only comes once every four years, so I decided this would be the day for you next letter. Honestly, I wanted to write this to you on Valentine's Day, but I knew I would cry, and indeed, I already am. February makes me think about love, and there is no one in the world that I love like I love you. Of course I love your daddy, but that is a different type of love. I love him in a romantic way, like a wife. However, I love you like a mommy, and that, my son, is indescribable.
Many years from today, you will fall in-love. And I'm sure she will be beautiful and smart, and you will think, "This is the first woman to ever love me!"
But you would be wrong.
Remember, Eli, that the first woman that ever loved you was me.
I loved you before I ever met you. I loved you from the moment I knew you would be with us. I loved you while standing there in ratty University of Georgia t-shirt, holding a test with pink lines. I loved you when I first felt you move. I loved you when you were making me throw-up all day, every day. I loved you I first saw your tiny feet on a black and white sonogram picture. I loved you when I heard your first cry, and I cried, too. I loved you when I kissed your tiny face, counted your fingers and toes, and thanked God he brought you to us. I loved you when you woke up every two hours and I thought I'd never sleep again. I loved you when you cut your first teeth and I REALLY thought I'd never sleep again. I loved you when started to crawl and I realized you were growing up. I loved you when you said mama for the first time, and I made you cry on purpose to make you say it again. I loved you when pulled the dogs tail and scared her, causing her to pee all over me. I loved you when I was working on graduate school assignments, and you unplugged the computer. I love you when pulled over the trashcan, spilling its contents in to the kitchen floor. I love when you get a boo boo, my kiss can make it better. I love you when I put toys in your play pen, and you throw them all out... one by one. I love you when you look at those toys, strewn across the floor and say "uh oh!" I love you when I pick you up in the afternoon, and you kick your legs because you're happy to see me. I love that you play with my hair when you’re tired. I love you lay your head on my shoulder and fall asleep at night. I love you when I pray for your life, and ask God to help me make you into a man He can be proud of. I love that you just came down the stairs with your daddy (he was giving you a bath), and when you saw me, you smiled the biggest smile. I love that I just put you down so I could finish your letter, and you’re crying, reaching out for me. And most of all, I love that you need and want me in your life.
And I know there will come a time when you won’t need or want me as much as you do now. And that breaks my heart. But it also makes me happy because I know that will mean that you are growing and maturing in the way a young man should. No matter how old you get, though, I will always see as my little boy, snuggling your momma while wearing your footie pajamas. You are my son, and I love you to moon and back, Eli James.
Love,
Mommy
Today is February 29th, 2012. Leap Day. It only comes once every four years, so I decided this would be the day for you next letter. Honestly, I wanted to write this to you on Valentine's Day, but I knew I would cry, and indeed, I already am. February makes me think about love, and there is no one in the world that I love like I love you. Of course I love your daddy, but that is a different type of love. I love him in a romantic way, like a wife. However, I love you like a mommy, and that, my son, is indescribable.
Many years from today, you will fall in-love. And I'm sure she will be beautiful and smart, and you will think, "This is the first woman to ever love me!"
But you would be wrong.
Remember, Eli, that the first woman that ever loved you was me.
I loved you before I ever met you. I loved you from the moment I knew you would be with us. I loved you while standing there in ratty University of Georgia t-shirt, holding a test with pink lines. I loved you when I first felt you move. I loved you when you were making me throw-up all day, every day. I loved you I first saw your tiny feet on a black and white sonogram picture. I loved you when I heard your first cry, and I cried, too. I loved you when I kissed your tiny face, counted your fingers and toes, and thanked God he brought you to us. I loved you when you woke up every two hours and I thought I'd never sleep again. I loved you when you cut your first teeth and I REALLY thought I'd never sleep again. I loved you when started to crawl and I realized you were growing up. I loved you when you said mama for the first time, and I made you cry on purpose to make you say it again. I loved you when pulled the dogs tail and scared her, causing her to pee all over me. I loved you when I was working on graduate school assignments, and you unplugged the computer. I love you when pulled over the trashcan, spilling its contents in to the kitchen floor. I love when you get a boo boo, my kiss can make it better. I love you when I put toys in your play pen, and you throw them all out... one by one. I love you when you look at those toys, strewn across the floor and say "uh oh!" I love you when I pick you up in the afternoon, and you kick your legs because you're happy to see me. I love that you play with my hair when you’re tired. I love you lay your head on my shoulder and fall asleep at night. I love you when I pray for your life, and ask God to help me make you into a man He can be proud of. I love that you just came down the stairs with your daddy (he was giving you a bath), and when you saw me, you smiled the biggest smile. I love that I just put you down so I could finish your letter, and you’re crying, reaching out for me. And most of all, I love that you need and want me in your life.
And I know there will come a time when you won’t need or want me as much as you do now. And that breaks my heart. But it also makes me happy because I know that will mean that you are growing and maturing in the way a young man should. No matter how old you get, though, I will always see as my little boy, snuggling your momma while wearing your footie pajamas. You are my son, and I love you to moon and back, Eli James.
Love,
Mommy
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