A Season of Firsts

Dear Eli,

We just got back from running errands, and both you and your daddy got new toys! His, however, cost a little more than yours. While he's off picking his up (a new TV), you are playing in your brand new (to you) exersaucer! Thank you Uncle Andy, Aunt Jessica, and Cousin Jack for what is sure to be hours of fun. Here is a picture of you taken a few minutes ago during your first time playing:

So this brings me to the thought of firsts. We've already discussed your first night in the hospital (I didn't sleep),  and your first night at home (you didn't sleep... and subsequently, I didn't either), so now, I want to talk about some other 'firsts.' When you were ten days old, your cousin Sydney came over to see you, along with the rest of Uncle Andy's family--Aunt Jessica, and your cousins Madison, Riley, and Jack. Sydney, however, is a budding photographer and she took some of the first pictures of you. Turns out, she's super talented and captured some of the most beautiful images I could have imagined. You were very well behaved and only cried for a few minutes at the beginning. Here are some of the awesome pictures she took:

 As you can plainly see, you've been beautiful since day one. You're lucky... ask your Poppa one day about the first time he saw me. I was two week overdue, bigger than a bowling ball, and had a cone head. I believe he told me his first thought was, "Ew... put her back in..." But no worries, I'm not permanently scarred.

A few days after these were taken, your umbilical cord finally fell off, which meant you could have your first bath! Of course we had to document the occasion, and I believe the look on your face in this picture says it all:

Your face was NOT happy. At all. Your tiny little chicken legs were shaking, you were cold, crying, and didn't like the water. Good news, though--you now LOVE your bath, or "baffies" as we now call them. Stupid baby talk... both your daddy and I have fallen victim to it.

PS-ask your Grandma about the time she told you to "kick and splash." You followed directions like a champ! I'd post the video of you showing off that trick, but you'd kill me when you're older. You might be n-a-k-e-d in that one ;)

Another first worth discussing is the first time you ate real food. Now, your pediatrician told me not to give you anything other than your bottle until you were six months old because we "didn't want to encourage overeating." BUT I DIDN'T LISTEN! A couple of weeks ago I was eating some yogurt while holding you. You watched every bite that went into my mouth. Son, you were begging worse than the dog does. So I gave you a tiny bite and you LOVED it. Since then, you've had not only yogurt, but rice cereal AND mashed potatoes, all of which were big hits. Here is a picture of your the first time we ever fed you a non-bottle meal:

A few more firsts include...


Your first time in your swing:

You still spend a lot of time in this swing... thank you AHS cheerleaders for getting it for you!

Your first slumber party:

There were terrible storms coming into our part of the state, and because we don't have a basement, we went to your Grandmommy and Poppa's house. We slept on in the living room with you, and at 4:00 a.m., you woke up crying. Your Grandmommy came and got you. She said your daddy and I could go back to sleep, that she and Poppa would feed your and get you back to bed. At 7:30 a.m., she brought you back downstairs. You hadn't been back to sleep. At all. They were exhausted... your daddy and I just laughed. We knew what was coming for them when they volunteered!

Your first time in your bumbo seat:

 Is it just me, or do you look at little nervous here?! PS-Your Poppa bought you that bib. He says you're the little monkey and he's the big one :)

Your first time at the beach:

You hated the ocean. HATED it. We bought you a life jacket because I was terrified I'd get knocked over by a wave and lose my grip. So on our second day, I stuffed you into it and walked you out to the water. You feet had just barely touched it when you started to scream. We also learned quickly not to use spray sunscreen on you... apparently you didn't like when it got in your eyes.

Your first visit to Indiana:

At the beginning of July, we packed up and headed North. Your Grandma and Grandpa were so happy to see you! For some reason, though, you were NOT happy. You smiled for a few minutes after we got there, and then you had a melt down. Like...a Chernobyl-esque fit. I could see the look of disappointment on your Grandma's face and it made me sad. However, you quickly recovered--I suppose you were just tired... or hungry... or both--and soon you were just as charming as ever. They babysat you one day while we were there and your daddy and I had a date day. It was so much fun for everyone. Your Grandma and Grandpa got to spend a whole day with you, uninterrupted, and your daddy and I got to have some alone time. Aren't grandparents great?!


Your first time sitting in the recliner:

Your daddy was so excited when I told him I wanted to get a recliner to rock you in downstairs... he only thought it was for him. The look on your face CLEARLY shows who it was really for, though!

And your first time in your high chair:

Now, you haven't eaten in your high chair yet, but you DID sit in it. When you actually use it, I'll be sure to document that as well.

I'm not going to lie, I wish I had gotten your first smile and first laugh on film. I'm disappointed that didn't happen, but you just can't predict things like that. That's also the reason I don't have record of the first time you rolled over, but believe me, you've done it. Only twice, but still. Your newest trick is that you like to try to stand up (did I mention that already? I can't remember. I'm getting old), and soon, you'll be walking. You're growing up so fast and there isn't enough time to take it all in. I'm trying my hardest, but you change every day. That's why I started these letters--I'm attempting to record the steps you take, both literally and metaphorically, for both of us. You may or may not care about this when you are older, but regardless, I'll have these memories recorded for your daddy and me. I'm watching you sleep right now in your swing. You're sucking your thumb and starting to wake up. Soon, you'll cry and want to be picked up. You'll need me to feed you, hold you, and kiss you. And when you're older, I'll remember this moment, even though you might not need me quite so much any more. I love you to the moon and back, Eli James.

Love,
Mommy

Let the Sleepless Nights Begin

Dear Eli,

Let me begin by saying that the last few nights, you've slept all the way through! You're such a big boy now (almost 4 months old)! You were kind of a cranky butt last night, but I forgave you when I woke up at 8:00 this morning and you still hadn't made a sound. Your daddy and I got up and almost ran into your room, afraid that something was wrong, but you were just laying there, looking up. When you saw us, you smiled so big that my heart melted right there in my chest.

Dear God, thank you so much for this child!

I left off with bringing you home. I mentioned that your father picked out your hat.  I guess you could say that the brainwashing began at a young age... like... birth. Your Grandma and Grandpa were still in town and were there for your first few days. The first night at home I was scared that you would wake them up all night long when you cried, but they slept through it all, thank goodness. Your daddy and I weren't so fortunate.

You liked to eat. A lot. I'd estimate that you got up four to five times every night for the first few weeks. Your daddy and I were like the walking dead. I was crabby, he was crabby, you were hungry. I was lucky enough to have your daddy home with me for three weeks after you were born. The Monday he went back to work was hard. Super, super hard! The following day, Tuesday, I had a small nervous breakdown. Your Grandmommy and Poppa came over and watched you so I could sleep. I remember talking to your Grandmommy on the phone and just sobbing. She told me they would be there ASAP, and not long after we hung up, they were there. I went to bed... and slept... and slept... and slept. It was GLORIOUS. Your Grandmommy would later tell me she had just finished reading a story in the newspaper about a man who had climbed Mt. Everest, but when he was younger, he was charged with manslaughter after shaking his baby out of frustration. I guess she could detect a hint of hysteria in my voice?

Of course I would NEVER shake you. EVER. But something had to give, so I went out and bought a book on Wednesday called On Becoming Baby Wise. I read it cover to cover in one day, and on Wednesday night, we implemented the schedule the book suggests. You only woke up twice that night... I'm pretty sure that book saved my sanity.

So you continued to grow and get stronger, and your personality began to develop. When you smiled at me for the first time... the first REAL time, not just a gassy smile... I wanted to cry. The first time you laughed, well... that was just... wow! But with all that growing came the time for your two month doctor's appointment. And with that appointment came shots.

I'm not sure who took those shots harder... you or me. The nurse had you on the table, stripped down to your diaper. You were looking up at me like, "What's going on, mommy?"

And then she stuck you.

And you SCREAMED.

The look on your face broke me. Your eyes locked with mine and the look was one of "Why did you let them hurt me?!"

I cried. You cried. We all cried. Ok, so the nurse didn't cry, but she didn't judge, either... I guess she had seen that kind of display before.

When we came home, you wanted snuggles, and by golly, you got them. This was how we spent the day:

After that, I told your daddy he'd have to take you for the next round.

I've got to go take a shower now, but in my next letter we'll discuss some of your firsts... like your first bath (Yes, there will be pictures!No, they aren't anything that will embarrass you when your first girlfriend comes over to meet us), your first photo shoot, and your first bite of real food. Plus anything else I think of.

I love you to the moon and back, Eli James.

Love,

Mommy

In the beginning...

July 30, 2011

Dear Eli,

I’ve wanted to begin writing to you for some time now. Really, since before you were born, but as you will undoubtedly find out, I can procrastinate. Since it’s easier to type, and because of said procrastination, this will have to suffice as my love letters to you. I’m not much of a baby book kind of mommy, so here goes... I hope you will enjoy reading it one day as much as I will enjoy writing it.

You daddy and I met at work. To say that we didn’t like each other much at the beginning might be an understatement. I thought of him as kind of a jerk, not very friendly, and always stealing my parking spot. However, as time went on, we found that we actually had a lot in common and eventually realized we loved one another. We had what you might call a whirlwind courtship. We starting seeing each other in August of 2008, were engaged in April 2009, and married 11 weeks later on June 27th. I’m pretty sure your dad would have started trying to have kids as soon as we got married, but I wanted to wait at least a year, so it was on our first anniversary trip to the beach that we decided we were ready. Not too long after that, we discovered you would be joining our family.

It wasn’t exactly great to be pregnant. You made me very, very sick for about 5 months, then again for last two. I used to joke that I would spank you as soon as you were born for making me feel so terrible. However, when I was about 16 weeks pregnant, a friend of ours lost her child who was born about 16 weeks premature. After that, I quit complaining. I asked God to bring you here safely, and he did, but not without a few hiccups along the way.

In January, I started having contractions while sitting in church. I called my doctor who sent me to the hospital. It was quite a sight, the whole family trooping out of church together, and the preacher asked if it was because we didn’t like his message :) Of course that wasn’t the case, and the bottom line was that we needed to make sure you were safe. The doctors were able to stop the contractions, but at the point I was sufficiently convinced that you would come early... I was wrong.

You due date was originally April 5th, but because you were measuring small, the Doctor pushed it back to April 12th. Our best guess was that you were somewhere in between. I just KNEW that you would be a March baby. You daddy and I went out looking at March birthstones to  commemorate your birth... glad we didn’t buy anything! April 1st came and went. By that point, I was beyond frustrated that I hadn’t met you and I just wanted to hold you. That, and you made it dang near impossible for me to breath, you were so high. I remember we went to the doctor on April 6th the doctor told me that you must be super comfortable in there because you didn’t seem in too big of a hurry to arrive. We tried to schedule a c-section, but nothing was available. I would have to wait. We left there and went and met your Grandmommy and Poppa  for breakfast, and I remember having a breakdown in the middle of The Waffle House. I was mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted, so I came home and went to bed.

I slept right through the doctor's office calling me. When I woke up, it was too late to call them back, no one was there.

I woke up EARLY the next morning and counted down the minutes to 8:00 a.m. so I could call them back. At 8:05, I found out that you would be born the following day...the 5:00 c-section had been canceled, the OR was free.

What a busy day that Thursday was! We had to go back to the doctor’s office, we had to go to the hospital and do paperwork, we had to wash clothes and get ready for the next day. We woke up SUPER early on Friday, April 8th because I couldn’t eat anything past 7:00 a.m. We drove to Douglasville to The Cracker Barrel. I ate as much as I could, but because you were so squished up into my stomach, I didn’t have much room. By 11:00 a.m. I was starving.

Confession: I ate a waffle at 11:15.

Another Confession: I lied to the nurse about it.


Moments before we left for the hospital

It was a good thing I did, too, because the second half of the day went by pretty quickly and I wouldn’t eat again until after midnight. More on that later.

Your dad and I went to the hospital at 3:30. We met your Grandmommy and Poppa there. I remember being so scared. I was scared something would happen to you during delivery. I was scared something would happen to me. I was scared of not being able to take care of you. I was scared it would hurt. I was scared of the unknown. I cried in the waiting room (much like I’m crying now remembering it). We all held hands, and your Poppa prayed for you, and for your daddy and me. Then it was time.

We went back to the OR prep room where we changed clothes and they got me ready for your arrival. Your daddy took a picture of me and I took one of him. 

 

Getting my “game face” on.                                     Ready to meet his son!

Then we waited. And waited. And waited. I remember being so hot. Like… boiling. The nurses put these plastic things on my legs along with huge socks. I was dreaming about water. There was a sink in the prep room, and I was staring at it. S-T-A-R-I-N-G at it. Dreaming about a single sip. So because I was dying of thirst, of course the doctor was late (when are they ever on time?).

I was supposed to be taken back at 4:30, but that didn’t happen. At 5:00, my doctor finally got there. They wheeled me back to the OR. I was holding your daddy’s hand, thanking God he was there with me. I was literally clinging to him. Then they told him to let go, he’d have to wait outside for a bit. LET GO?! WAIT OUTSIDE?! HUH??!?

So there I am, terrified, the one person I want is pacing the halls outside the OR, and the anesthesiologist comes at me with a HUGE needle. Oh boy.

(By the way, you are currently laying on your play mat… you’re kind of fussy, which isn’t exactly conducive to my writing, but you’re looking up at me and switching between whining and smiling… and you’re beautiful.)

So now it’s time. It’s really, really time. No turning back! I’m all numb, can’t feel a thing… and so it begins.

As it turns out, it’s a good thing you never dropped. You were wrapped head to toe in your umbilical cord. It was around your leg, around your arm, and around your neck. If you had dropped, and come into the world in the usual way, it could have killed you. I thank God every day that He saved you from that.

Your daddy watched you being born. He couldn’t see anything gross, he just saw you from the first second you entered this world. I, however, was holding my breath, waiting for you to cry. It was only a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity. As soon as I heard your sweet voice, I broke down. I was so happy and thankful that you were safe. Praise God! This is the first picture of you, after you were born:

  

Your daddy was taking pictures of you while the doctors were fixing me back up. Suddenly, he turned to me and smiled. I smiled back… he checked on me to make sure I was ok, then I said, “I’m fine! Keep taking pictures!” As soon as you were ready, they handed you to me. This is the first picture of you with your mommy:

You were born at on April 8, 2011 at 5:30 p.m. You weighed 7 lbs 5ozs, and were 20 inches long. You had 10 fingers and 10 toes, a good amount of hair, and your father’s nose. However, it was clear from the beginning that you would eventually have your mother’s eyes. Your Grandma and Grandpa had driven down the morning of your birth, having told their bosses the day before that they wouldn’t be back for a few days. Your Grandmommy and Poppa had been there since they wheeled me back. Your Aunt Kate, Uncle Cameron, and Aunt Kelly were there in time to meet you that night. Originally we had heard that no one was allowed to visit after 8:00, but your Aunt Kelly said she was getting into that room, and no matter what, she was GOING to see you! Gotta love that red-headed spunk :)

The first night in the hospital, I didn’t sleep. Literally. Didn’t sleep. I was terrified something would happen to you…that you would stop breathing or something. You were in your basinet next to my bed, but I kept leaning up and checking on you. Eventually I put your on my chest and tried to rest, but I couldn’t. I stayed awake and watched you sleep.

This, of course, made for kind of a rough day for mommy on April 9^th. Along with everyone that had been there the night before, your Uncle Bob and Aunt Tina drove all the way from Indianapolis to see you, and your Uncle Andy and Aunt Jessica came over as soon as they could. It was nice to know that so many people would be loving on you so I could take a quick nap.

On April 11^th, we took you home. Of course your daddy picked out your hat.

 

I think that’s all I have to say for right now. I’ll pick up where I left off, later. I think I need to go help your daddy, though. He’s giving you a bottle, and I’m pretty sure he’s about to fall asleep, too. I love you, Eli James.

Love,

Mommy